Yeah, so .. I am gonna try again to start writing more often. Promise. Pinky-swear .. Wish me luck ..
Because the thing is, when I was writing regularly, it was like a catharic therapy for me and I also had some arrogant hope or belief it might be of help to others. Then my life got turned upside down.
A good friend of mine also blogs from time to time, and also seems to have recently had a dry spell. She recently posted a new post which encouraged me to try again to try again. It wasn’t actually the content of the blog which gave me the “Aha!” moment, rather the fact that it was two well written paragraphs. Just two. It was a blog, and it was two paragraphs. I realised I was recently I may have expecting too much from myself.
When I started this blog, my first few articles were quite short. A few paragraphs. Then I read somewhere that a good blog post should have around 1000 words. So I set myself a target word-count of 1000. Because then I could change the world. 950 words just wouldn’t cut it. 1000 or nothing.
I still have a swarm of ideas bubbling around in my head. Just like before. The difference now is that for one reason or another I just don’t have the mental space or energy to waffle on until I reach this predefined threshold. So why suddenly try to attain something so high when I feel like I can barely lift myself from the ground? Why indeed?
Why not drop my pride?
Why not focus on what I wanted this blog to be in the first place. Rambling thoughts. Not “Unconnnected 1000 Word Essays”. Thoughts. Fleeting moments of lucidity which I have managed to grasp hold of long enough to jot them down and share in the hopes they might be of use to someone else.
I reckon as we go through life, we naturally compare ourselves to some benchmark. It could be someone we admire, it could be an income level, a social norm. Heck, it could even be someone who we used to be when we had our 5h1t together. After a personal crisis or whatever sort, maybe we should give a little grace to ourselves before we expect ourselves to be back at 100%.
With this blog .. when I was writing every couple of weeks or so, it seemed easy to crack out a fair size chunk of text. I was used to pulling threads together in an effort to express what I was thinking. More importantly, I had enough confidence in myself to believe that I had something worth saying, and that I had enough credibility to say it. It honestly feels that both these things have taken a battering recently.
So, if I want to blog again .. then maybe I just start off with a little and often and see how it goes?
If I used to be a marathon runner, and for some reason wasn’t able to run or train for a year, would it be fair to expect to be able to suddenly pull off a marathon? Is there something which you used to enjoy? Something which for one reason or another has fallen by the way side? Does it feel an insurmountable challenge to get back to where you want to be? I know how you feel.
So .. let’s pick up ourselves up, and try again. Little and often.